Small Group Ministry

Where I've Been

My husband I have been rather fortunate over the years to have had mentors in the area of community life and small groups.  This has been my life, as I mentioned when I began this blog.  I grew up in community.  I have a large family.  My husband had a very close family in the earlier years of his life as well.  He also grew up in the Catholic church, which has always embraced the idea of family and community.  Most of the churches I have been a part of have been small, which lends itself to close-knit community.  Keith and I had the opportunity to live with a large family for 18 months and live community life with them.  We were always intrigued by the way people were always in and out of their house.  They lived in the country so they kept a door unlocked permanently.   

We spent about 2 years in a house church ministry called Imago Dei, under the direction of Samuel Wilson, Christopher Woodland, and Pierre Scott.  These are some amazing men.  Their mission was to disciple us to walk deeper in the Spirit.  We then ended up at Grace Community Church for over 5 years and became small group leaders in our last year there.  We were under the direction of Pastor Greg Gill, who met with us over several months and spent time mentoring us individually as leaders.  Though we are not at any of those places now, through God’s calling, we are now at Captivate Church, where I truly believe all of that mentoring will not go to waste.  Samuel Wilson even published a book offering discipleship training to small group leaders.  

What I Learned

So you ask, what have I learned in all of those years?  I laugh.  My husband and I talk about community and small group life almost daily.  WE ARE PASSIONATE!!!!  Well, we’ve learned through MANY mistakes and through the discipling and mistakes of our mentors.  Keith and I have also had the privilege of being a part of my dad’s group at Captivate, which has only added to all that we’ve learned thus far.  So, are you ready???  If I could boil it down to one word, here’s what it would be.  INVESTMENT!!!!!!!!!  The heart of small group ministry is investing in people’s lives.  It’s that simple.  HOWEVER, this can’t be done in your own strength.  If you try to do this alone, it WILL fail eventually.  Jesus has to be at the core.  Otherwise, you will burn out quickly.

Basic Model

Because I have a gift in administration, I’ve formed a very basic model.  I know, I hate models too because I believe in the freedom of the Holy Spirit, but our God is a God of order.  So, it’s very, very basic.  If I had it to do all over and I ever had the opportunity to help other leaders, this would be how I would do it.  If you ever have the privilege of becoming a champion of small group ministry, which is what I so desire, pray about this.  

Get to know your small group leaders, or establish leadership.  This is very important!!!  Invest in their lives too!  Don’t leave your leaders to float on their own.  When I say invest, invite them over for dinner.  Spend time with them.  Learn what’s important to them.  Take the time to learn about their relationship with God.  Ask them about what their passions are.  Through many mistakes, I am learning to do more listening than talking.  We can talk after we’ve listened and understood.

Next, take the time to visit groups every so often.  Learn the dynamics of each group and how they interact.  See if true discipleship is taking place.  Now when I say that, it isn’t just the leaders discipling the group.  The leaders are just the model.  We can all disciple each other.  Again, if too much is placed on the leaders, it will lead to burn out. 

Also, get to know some of the people in the church.  Ask questions from different people.  What are they looking for in small group ministry?  Is it a priority for them and why?  Find out what other people are seeking.  Talk to different people, people from different cultures, singles, married, families, and elderly.  Try to discover what people are looking for.  See if there is a common theme.

The more you invest in people’s lives, the better you can serve.  This applies to just about any aspect of life, as well as to small group ministry.  But what has to be at the heart of small group ministry?  Christ does.  He HAS to be your driving force for why you do what you do.  He HAS to be at the forefront of your passion.  What is it you are doing for the people in your group?  You’re discipling them.  You are teaching them the same thing.  To walk deeper in the Spirit.  “Walk by the Spirit, and you won’t gratify the desires of the flesh.”  Our job as leaders is to encourage others to keep looking up, to give a model as to what that looks like.  Pray together in your groups.  Be silent together in your groups and LISTEN for the Holy Spirit.  He WILL show up!!!!!  If you want some good reading material, read Forgotten God by Francis Chan.  He also has a video that shares his idea of community life within his family, titled "The Chans."  This can extend to your small groups.  He is an excellent resource.

BE WILLING TO BE FLEXIBLE.  This is probably the hardest!!!!  Keith and I struggled because we had such high expectations.  It only caused us more unnecessary heartache.  When we have our own expectations about what it should be, we take Christ out of the driver’s seat.  All it creates is stress.  Take those burdens to God and ask Him to help you let go of unnecessary burdens.  We are all called to be confident, yet show grace.  As a small group leader, walk humbly.  ALWAYS err on the side of love.  “Love covers a multitude of sins.”  I’m preaching to myself here.  If God is in the driver’s seat, you can’t go wrong. 

Be accepting of everyone.  Notice I didn’t say be accepting of everything.  You have to have order in your groups.  If you have children, whoever is hosting is going to have rules.  As a group, you have to agree to these rules.  Parents are responsible for their children and they should be.  There should always be ground rules, but remember grace as well.  As leaders, whether your children or not, you are responsible for the family unit.  You want to help disciple those children well too.  When they misbehave, correct them lovingly as a way to teach them and point them to Christ, if the parents aren’t around to do so.  We had a large family group when we left Grace Community and learned a lot. 

Let God be your source!!!!!